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   A girl surfaced from the cool,secretive waters that had been colored darkly by the night.The light of the full moon gave vision to her deep-set purple eyes and shone off her colorful...tail.For she was no human girl but a Mermaid. She looked ahead to the island,knowing to avoid it and wondering what sort of lunatics were inhabiting it now,when something caught her eye. Curiously she swam up closer to the floating lights ahead.

A mass of glowing beings floated in the sea,carrying a figure towards her.It had wild,tangled hair,was flithy,bruised and cut with swelling,scrawny,covered with sand,and didn't seem Human at first glance. Originally,the boy appeared to be dead,however his chest rose and fell and he was muttering something about a "beast". As she touched his wrist panicked thoughts flooded out of his head into hers.
"Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could kill!"
  The girl's stomach twisted itself like a snake at the sight of the disembodied,decomposing swine head.How was it talking,though?
  
"Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood! Do him in!"
 The boy had been stabbed,bitten,scratched,thrown off a cliff and left for dead.

Her eyes widen,so much pain caused by the very people he was trying help.Why did he try to help people like them? She did not care how young those little monsters were,what kind of person would do that? It was also apparent he might just have a gift and either way his time was running low.The mermaid realized what she must do,gently she pushed him down under high tide.She took a deep breath,no she couldn't! Why was this so hard,gift or no gift she couldn't just leave him.One glance at the selfless,courageous boy and she had to,besides it wouldn't count,would it? The girl opened her mouth and quickly gave him a peck on his lips and his lower body was surrounded by a glowing gold fog...
I must warn you that while this is written in Golding's style,I forgot to do the same for the other chapters.

Partly inspired by the legend that a kiss from a mermaid at the bottom of the ocean will turn you into a merman.Guess what's going to happen to Simon? Besides what I just told you.

~ Title:A Curious Island
~ Author:Unicornomics
~ Rating:Chapter:K-PG
~Whole work: PG-13

~ Pairing(s):None Yet
~ Summary:In which Simon is saved by a mermaid.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwildphoenix22:
Wildphoenix22 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
A very intriguing beginning! Well written! Great flow and use of adjectives. Nice work! :)
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:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014   General Artist
Thanks,I discontinued the series though
Reply
:iconwildphoenix22:
Wildphoenix22 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That's too bad. Did you finish the story.. or discontinue for other reasons?
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014   General Artist
I lost interest
Reply
:iconwildphoenix22:
Wildphoenix22 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Aww, haha. Yeah, that happens sometimes.
Reply
:iconchel-bells:
Chel-Bells Featured By Owner Jun 14, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow, this is really interesting so far! I love it. :love:
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013   General Artist
Glad to hear that,thank you for reading
Reply
:iconchel-bells:
Chel-Bells Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Student General Artist
You're so welcome. :D
Reply
:iconzaellrin:
Zaellrin Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2013  Professional General Artist
Awesome beginning, you are a very good writer! You should try to publish it down the road! :la:
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013   General Artist
Thanks but it's fanfiction
Reply
:iconzaellrin:
Zaellrin Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Professional General Artist
Interesting! Still good job though! :)
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013   General Artist
Thanks for reading
Reply
:iconmaidenstar:
MaidenStar Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
First off, I really like your beginning. It really drew me in, and scanning down, can see the many exclamation marks. Too many isn't good, but you had just the right amount to catch my attention, but not so much as to muddle the whole thing. Good job!

The only thing I would suggest here is to refine your punctuation usage. Other than that, the action and description are nicely played out. Keep it up, and you'll most certainly improve! ^-^

*MaidenStar
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:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013   General Artist
Thank you for your time and thought out comment
Reply
:iconmaidenstar:
MaidenStar Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You're very welcome! All you need to do is to polish up on the minor grammar mistakes. Otherwise, you're fine!
Reply
:iconperegrintook17:
peregrintook17 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
SIMON! I might cry again (lol)
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   General Artist
I wrote this to make up for Golding's mistake
Reply
:iconlacewinged-beauty:
Lacewinged-Beauty Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013   Writer

The idea itself is quite interesting. However, you need to focus on punctuation and spacing - particularly after commas which brings me to my next point.

Your use of commas is frequent, needlessly so. For example: One glance at the selfless,courageous boy and she had to,besides it wouldn't count,would it?
This particular line would work better if you removed some of the commas and shifted things around a little more. Example: One glance at the selfless, courageous boy and she had to, after all it wouldn't count - would it?

Proper punctuation will really assist the flow of the piece. Keep at it - with some practice you will get the hang of it. Good luck! :)
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   General Artist
She read his memories to know about him
Reply
:iconsilvermoon118:
silvermoon118 Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Ur writtin gtechnique is flowing and lovely to read. i love the way u discribe and keep the words live and flowing all hte time. The plot, is indespicably awesome. thrilling and new. i love this!
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012   General Artist
Thank you
Reply
:iconsilvermoon118:
silvermoon118 Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
ur welcome :iconwelcomeplz:
Reply
:iconrecklys:
Recklys Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012  Student Writer
O_o i'm impressed
keep up the great work;)
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2012   General Artist
Thanks
Reply
:iconalizafoxx:
AlizaFoxx Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
i think its great! it would be amazing if you embelished on the details of what the mermaid was seeing and feeling. was she expieriencing his memories or was she seperate and only hearing and seeing what had happened? I hope that is helpful. keep at it, you are doing great!
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2012   General Artist
That was very helpful,thank you
Reply
:iconunicornomics:
unicornomics Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012   General Artist
Thanks guys!
Reply
:iconmelxrumple:
melxrumple Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2012
COOLNESS!!!!! I love it! <3 <3 <3
Reply
:icondreamer-of-magic:
Dreamer-of-Magic Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2012   General Artist
:ohnoes: im so interested in this and im loving it.
Reply
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